Don't Date a Girl Who Rides Motorcycles...
If you are able to read past the title, you will appreciate the sarcasm. Enjoy!
Don’t date a girl who rides motorcycles
Don’t date a girl whose idea of having a good time is to pack the bare essentials in her tank bag, gas up, and just go riding – no destination in particular, just an emphasis on the in-between. She’s the one walking with a ski-boot swagger and a permagrin that can barely be contained beneath her full-face helmet.
Don’t date a girl who has no qualms about running out of gas in the middle of nowhere or improvising near a cactus when restrooms are scarce. She will disgust you with her downsizing of a full makeup kit to a pack of wet wipes and moisturizing sunscreen. A little dirt never hurt anyone, she says.
Be wary of the girl who performs her own emergency roadside repairs. She’ll steal every last roll of duct tape, electrical tape, zip tie, and inch of wire you possess because nothing is going to stop her from breathing life back into this bike. In other than dire situations, be wary of the girl who performs her own routine maintenance. You will know her by the crescent moon shapes of dirt and grease collecting beneath her otherwise manicured fingernails or the oil-stained creases on her hands. Or in rare cases, by her printless fingertips, washed away from extensive use of carb cleaner.
Don’t date a girl who has no concept of the latest fashion apart from asking CE or EN? If you thought Bloomingdales was yawn material, you’ll never be able to sit through a trip to the D-Store.
Don’t date a girl who rides motorcycles. Her idea of a vacation won’t include sipping mai tais on the beach. You will likely find her comfortable in environments that may be unsettling at first, beyond a nondescript door to a long hallway which leads to a smoke-filled bar of only scotch and whiskey. She will be the one surrounded by the darkest of characters, en rapt withal whilst she regales them with her two-wheeled stories of adventure.
Don’t date a girl who rides motorcycles. You will not be the only one in her life. You will wake up on Sunday morning to find the bed empty and cold. She left early to beat traffic and ride the local mountain twisties until they ended at a remote restaurant with strong coffee and a greasy bite.
Don’t date a girl who has ridden to remote destinations. She will always be one ride away from leaving it all behind again, with or without you. She’ll have maps tucked away in the medicine cabinet next to the ibuprofen, longing to stretch her legs in a different city every night. She will simplify the search for a lunch stop by asking a nearby law enforcement officer and make finding a hotel an adventure in and of itself.
Don’t date a girl who rides a motorcycle. She won’t be impressed by your gifts of jewelry or perfume. The only shiny bits that captivate this girl’s attention are freshly polished chrome or a high gloss paint job. She will be distracted in conversation by the purr of an engine passing by. She won’t flinch during a breakdown because whatever she cannot fix, she is not afraid to ask the help of someone who can.
Don’t date a girl who rides a motorcycle. She is often independent and capable, not playing part to the ploy of batting her eyelashes in hopes of your swift rescue.
Don’t date a girl who rides a motorcycle because perfection won’t be tantamount. The simplest journey and the most mundane tasks will become the greatest adventure and your life will never be the same.
Don’t date a girl who rides a motorcycle. Marry her.*
*General consensus is that I needed to add this as the ending. Thank you readers!
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